Safety First

“Have a safe day!” gushed Ms. Hogswattle, a 3rd-grade teacher at The Sanctuary elementary school in Assurance, Vermont.

The children smiled and waved goodbye. A male security officer led the boys to their buses and a female security officer led the girls to their buses. The children waited in their assigned area under the multi-faceted security camera that kept each and every one of the children perfectly safe by maintaining 24/7 close up video of every person on the school grounds.

The girls' bus 102 pulled up and all of the girls assigned to it lined up to get on. As they entered each child put her right index finger onto the fingerprint scanner and looked straight ahead to the cornea scanner that was mounted behind the bus driver. Mrs. Agnes Magillicuty, the adult monitor for bus 102 waited patiently as the girls found their assigned seats. When the sound of automatic seat belt fasteners ceased, Mrs. Magillicuty looked back and asked,
“Is everybody safely secured in their seats?”

Mrs. Magillicuty was a bit past her prime and had been asking this unnecessarily for the past 20 years or so. The autonomous transport vehicle’s computer made all of the decisions regarding when and where to go. There were no drivers on America’s roads anymore as human drivers were just not safe. All vehicles traveling on America’s roadways were the property of the U.S. Transportation authority.

Historians traced the evolution of America’s “Live Safe and Secure or Die” back to the Women’s Movement’s Alcohol Prohibition of the early 20^th Century and the latter, “War on Drugs” and “Mothers Against Drunk Driving”.  The nation’s “Progressives” wanted to move the country away from superstitious belief and personal responsibility and they succeeded wildly. And their first big score of the 21^st Century was the repeal of the 2nd Amendment—making the “Right to Bear Arms” argument moot. It was now unconstitutional to bear arms of any sort—this included knives, hammers, screwdrivers, chainsaws, and axes—in fact, most metal tools—as well as banning the possession of sticks and stones. In this era, the people and the nation stood for nothing—with the exception of safety and security.

The United States of America was the first society on earth to achieve nearly perfect safety and security with the passage of Amendments 101, 102, and 103 to the U.S. Constitution. Perfect safety and security for the American people had now been enshrined in the founding document. The Pledge of Allegiance had been restated:

            I pledge allegiance to the Flag of the United States of America and to the State for which it stands, one nation, under surveillance, with security and safety for all.

There had been a technology once that many called the Web or the Internet. It had been used relentlessly to sway public opinion—and nothing swayed that opinion like disaster or tragedy.

“No family should have to go through the loss of a child this way” and “We must do such-and-such to protect the children” were common themes that eventually got away from the propagandists.

The Progressives, having seized control of the political system by eliminating their opposition, consolidated power in a system of One Party Rule. The Progressives had not counted on the “Protectionists." This 21^st Century political party had a far different set of agendas than the 20^th Century’s version of labor and union sympathizers. The Progressives, having stripped the people of their need to stand for anything and having disarmed the people as well, were easy prey for the Protectionists. As it turned out, the only thing that West Point and Annapolis had in common with Yale and Harvard was the annual football game. The alumni of the latter institutions had their high ideals and their Relativism while the alumni of the former had the weapons and the security apparatus of the State. It wasn’t even a coup so much as a fait accompli, and of course, there was no one left to notice the irony of the silence of the Progressives—especially since it was they who effectively abridged the freedom of speech and the right to bear arms.

And now we are perfectly Safe and Secure.

But I digress.

It was a broiling early September day and Mrs. Magillicuty daydreamed of going for a swim in a pool or at the beach, the way she did when she was a little girl. A terrible chill interrupted that daydream as the scene of a shark tearing a woman to pieces came to her mind. She hadn’t actually seen a shark attack; in fact, she had never seen a shark in her life—even at an aquarium back when they had aquariums. No, what she was remembering was a video produced by the Federal Department of Safety and Security, the DSS.
“Stay out of the water. Remember! Safety first!” said the voice accompanying the shark attack video.

To be accurate, the first things to go were the diving boards. Then the swimming pools themselves. Not long after swing sets were abolished, followed by the ubiquitous monkey bars and slides. Since there wasn’t much for children to play on at playgrounds anymore, and since playgrounds were well-known hangouts for sexual predators, the playgrounds were eliminated in the name of Safety!

            Baseball? Too dangerous. Safety first! And let’s not even talk about football and wrestling. Golf was banned because some poor soul had been struck by lightning while putting on the 18^th green with his family watching him from the clubhouse.

“No family should have to see their father killed like that.”

And that was the end of golf.

Mrs. Magillicuty arrived home to the small and tidy government housing unit she shared with her middle-aged daughter, son-in-law, and granddaughter. The unit was a small dome constructed of cement and steel. This was standard issue housing and all other forms of housing had been demolished as unsafe. The outside security cameras followed her movements until the inside security camera picked up her movements—at which point the outside camera went back to scouring the streets for movement.

This was a big night in the household. Her granddaughter was going to have her first sexual encounter tonight. Everybody was very excited.

Sexual relations were highly coordinated affairs in the United States of Safety and Security. In the past sex had proven just too dangerous, or so the Progressives claimed. The Progressives had run a highly successful propaganda campaign in the late 20^th and early 21^st centuries claiming that over 25% of women had been sexually assaulted before the age of 25. Of course, the Progressives had no data to support this absurd assertion. After conducting a survey of women themselves and finding the reported victim percentages to be unacceptable—the data set did not meet with their liking—they simply changed the definition of “sexual assault” from something the woman herself would define to something that they, the Progressives, would define—and those definitions were not terribly consistent with logic or reason.

For example, a heterosexual woman could not engage in sexual activity if she were under the influence of alcohol or narcotics as she could not legally give consent. But heterosexual men, homosexual men, and homosexual women, engaging in their preferred sexual relations, on the other hand, could give consent while under the influence. This seemed to make perfect sense to the Progressives. The Protectionists just never bothered to address these regulations. The Protector elite could do as they pleased and take whom they pleased, and these Progressive ideas regarding who could and could not give consent gave the SSC enforcement personnel something to do and someone to persecute. No one dared to stand up to them and their firepower. So, sexual relations still occurred under the arrangements first promulgated by the Feminist wing of the now-defunct Progressive party.

Each party to a sexual encounter had to register with the Safety and Security Commission, or “SSC,” as that agency was often referred to. Along with the registration form, each party would have to detail the sexual activity that they expected would and consented to take place—in exact detail. All such activities would take place under the proper lights and cameras approved for such activity by the SSC. Any deviation from this could result in the imprisonment or death of the offender by summary execution at the hands of the SSC forces. The sexual encounter was to be viewed in real time, via sexual security cameras, by a SSC officer and was also recorded for potential future examination for the safety and security of the participants.

This right of passage, her first sexual encounter, was on the evening schedule of Roberta Magillicuty, granddaughter of Agnes Magillicuty (while the Progressives were in power they reversed the tradition of patrilineal surnames with matrilineal surnames. After all, “Mama’s baby. Papa’s? Maybe.”). Roberta was quite close to her grandmother and so she sought out her advice on the sexual consent form.

“I had no idea that planning a sexual encounter could be so complicated,” said Roberta. “The form is 8 pages long and has at least 50 different consent items per page. Look at this! “Digital Penetration”?! What the heck is digital penetration??!!”

Agnes gave her granddaughter a kind smile and said, “I can’t believe my baby granddaughter is having her first safe and secure sexual experience tonight! Where did the time go?”
“I’m serious, Nana. I don’t know what half this stuff means,” said Roberta, handing the form to her grandmother.

In Agnes’ day they had the Internet and with it access to the entirety of human knowledge. The Progressives censured it until finally securing a Constitutional Amendment banning the Internet. It just wasn’t safe. Roberta would have to rely on her grandmother’s guidance.

“Well, 'digital' refers to your fingers or digits,” said Agnes, adjusting her reading glasses and looking down her nose at the form. “Penetration means the entering of your body through one of your orifices. Unless this is referring to his orifices.”

“Cheese and crackers,” exclaimed Roberta. “I was wondering what in creation they were talking about. Well, that explains it.”

“Explains what?”
“Well, look at the following disclosure and consent items regarding which digits, how many, and which orifices. How should I know?” Roberta paused, bit her lip, then looked up at Agnes with a bewildered look on her face and said, “What did you do?”

“Oh, honey…” said Agnes as she wrapped her arm around Roberta’s shoulder and led her to the dining room table to sit down, “when I was your age we didn’t have such forms. We went on dates with men and worked these things out for ourselves, but that was before we knew about all of the rape and violence that occurs when men and women are not supervised. Before the Protectionists kept us safe we had another group running the government. They wanted us to be safe, too. Some of them felt all sex was rape, that assertion was from a group called Feminists, who were dominated by Gay women. They didn’t hold men in high esteem. They claimed that over 25% of all women had been raped. Well, something had to be done. Today you are perfectly safe when having sex. Our safety and security have never been better.”

As Agnes said this she glanced nervously over at one of the SSC security cameras that every citizen had in every room of their homes for their safety and security.

“Were you ever raped?” asked Roberta.

“No,” replied Agnes.

“Were any of your friends ever raped?”

“Not that I know of,” replied Agnes.

“Have you ever met a woman who has been the victim of rape?”

Agnes thought for a moment. “Why honey, how would I know anyone who has been raped? We are all perfectly safe and secure!”

“But you are 75 years old, Gramma! You were 50 before safety and security became universal. You have met thousands upon thousands of women and yet you don’t know a single rape victim? In the world of your youth—where 25% of the women walking around were victims—isn’t it awfully suspicious to you that you never met a woman that was a victim?”

“Now honey, please don’t talk like that…” Agnes said soothingly, her eyes betraying her panic as she looked up to the security camera and then out the front window to the street and back again.

“Talk like what? The women of your generation concerned themselves with their “right to choose” to kill their unborn baby and to make absurd claims about being victims and now we live like this? With SSC officers watching us have sex? Where I can’t ride a bike or a skateboard or swim in a pool because no family should have to go through the pain of losing a child that fell off a bike or drowned in a fucking pool??!! And now I have to report to some thug or dyke that gets their jollies reading my "consent report" and watching me us have sex to be sure that my partner abides by this fucking report?”

Roberta was fairly shrieking now and directing her tirade at the security camera.

“We live in a world without swing sets and diving boards and horseback riding and Octoberfest. Why? Because your generation wanted to “protect the children”? From what? Life?!

“Do you even know your history??!! First, it was the “Prohibition of Alcohol,” then the “War on Drugs,” then “MADD - Mothers Against Drunk Drivers,” followed by Mad Mothers against everyfuckingthing!!! And finally “All Sex is Rape.” Look where you have brought us! Yea, we are fucking safe,” Roberta finished with deep disgust, “we are so safe that we have security cameras in our bathrooms and in our bedrooms. Well done. Well done.”

Roberta’s head exploded with such force that Agnes was knocked to the floor. As Agnes came to her senses she had the sense of being manhandled and dragged from her home. She could dimly see several SSC officers dragging the limp and lifeless body of her beautiful granddaughter ahead of her to an SSC vehicle. Agnes was able to register a voice speaking in a flat tone,
“Subject is down. An additional subject in transport to an educational facility”.

Agnes closed her eyes and muttered to herself, “One nation, under surveillance, with safety and security for all.”